The Revision Assignment focuses on revamping an old article in a new way. The original formatting of this piece was a research paper, and I chose to adapt it to an advice column to reflect how confidence can impact the audience when presenting. The original formatting of this piece was a research paper and I choose to adapt it to an advice column to reflect a more informal and personalized format. I drew inspiration from Dear Abby, which my grandmother used to read to me when we spent time together. I hope you enjoy, and if you have any pressing questions, feel free to leave them below.
The original assignment that I used as a foundation for this article can be found here.
Dear Gareth,
I have a predicament. I am the best man at one of my friends’ weddings in a few weeks, which obviously means that I need to have a great speech. We’ve all seen the person that gets too drunk to try to calm their nerves, the person who talks way too fast because they’re anxious, and all the people in between. I refuse to butcher the privilege of being best man, but I am freaking out about what I’m going to say, when I’m going to say it, and who to include in the stories. Is this normal?
To make matters worse, the girl that I am just starting to see will be there, and not as my plus one. Her family is close with the groom’s family, so she’ll be there to watch me fumble my speech if I let my nerves get the best of me. I have really enjoyed the time I’ve spent with her, and really want to knock this speech out of the park to impress her too.
How do you prepare for something like this? Is there a way to minimize the odds of my brain going blank as soon as I stand up??
Sincerely,
Panicky Public Speaker
Dear Panicky,
I remember the first time that I had to make a speech at a wedding; my knees were weak and my arms were heavy… and then, I actually gave a great speech! It’s completely normal to be nervous for public speaking. In fact I don’t know many people that aren’t nervous for that sort of thing. The good news, which has been shown by MIT, is that it truly does get better with practice.
I honestly feel as though a big factor to how your speech is perceived is directly correlated to how you appear while speaking. In fact, when I was an undergrad many years ago, I was in a very similar predicament. What I learned from Ace The Presentation, a website focusing on improving public speaking, is that regardless of what you say during your speech, many people judge the speech based off how confident and assertive you are as a speaker. Wringing your hands, talking quietly, hunching over, those are all significantly more impactful on how people perceive your public speaking than missing a word or correcting yourself a few times. The truth is, we are all human, so letting yourself make a few mistakes is not worth stressing about because that stress will likely be perceived by the audience.
According to a study done by Norman Li, there are multiple ways to come across as confident, with two primary categories. This consists of eye contact, open body language, and the minimization of fidgeting. A reduction of filler words also creates a sense of familiarity with the material, which has been proven to be beneficial for the audience’s perception of the speaker.
This phenomenon is often called the “meta-perception” which is basically the idea that a person’s impression of a speaker is influenced on a sub-conscious level by the way that the speaker presents themselves and their information. An example of this could be that a speaker is very nervous which causes them to wring their hands a few times every minute. Though this may not be intentional by the speaker and is certainly not related to the words coming out of their mouth, it is perceived as insecurity by the audience which causes them to give the speaker less credit.
My advice is to practice and to make the speech fun. Try to loosen your body as you become familiar with the speech’s flow. Incorporate good memories, laugh if it’s funny, and don’t shy away from other emotions either. Act how you feel. Practice the speech in front of a mirror, record yourself speaking, present to your friends. Don’t wring your hands, act apologetic for speaking, or cross your legs. And for god’s sake don’t open the speech by saying how much you don’t want to give it! The more you can practice and familiarize yourself with the speech, the less you’ll have to focus on it when you do make that (killer!) best man speech.
I believe in you. The only thing left is for you to believe in yourself too.
Best of luck,
Gareth
The original assignment that I used as a foundation for this article can be found here.
